The Hissing of Summer Lawns by Joni Mitchell. I like JM well enough, but don't really listen to many other albums of hers. But HoSL just has this unique vibe that keeps bringing me back, especially on those slightly delirious hot days of summer.
I don't know what to else to say, the community describes itself as "women only" and he described it as being "female only". You could (but probably shouldn't) take it up with that community if you really feel their "women only" rule excludes girls. But I'm not sure I see how it excludes "ladies" which are generally considered a subset or synonym of "women".
To continue your point, it's true that not every' female' is a woman, indeed not every female is human. You get female seahorses, penguins and even female plants (dioecious ants like asparagus or holly). But for most English speakers, in most situations, female is an adjective and not a noun. So, you might 'have a female friend' , but you're not usually 'friends with a female'.
In my experience, the only linguistic situations where it is common to use female as a noun are 1) in scientific writing "the male mantis is decapitated by the larger female", and even their is usually just to avoid repeating the name of species. Or, 2) within groups of akward men. I'm not sure if they're trying to sound intelligent by aping scientific terminology, or are so removed from regular contact with women that they see them almost as another species.
Obviously it doesn't mean that everyone who talks about 'females' is an incel, but its use is highly linked to people who spend time in communities that don't involve a lot of women. Just as not everyone who uses "bogan" is Australian, but most of them are. Or, have spent a lot of time in Australian-adjacent situations.
This is a really good answer. Even terrible parents generally 'love' their children. Some believe that means giving everything they want and never saying "no", others believe that by bullying their kids they're "making them strong". And some genuinely love their kids, but less than they love their career or football.
Fortunately most parents really do want to do right by the kids, and have a more sane idea of what love means. But they might not always express that love in the way the child needs or understands, for a variety of reasons.
I think your absolutely right that people shouldn't call a question stupid in c/nostupidquestions. But they can and should criticise a question for being a rant disguised as a question (eg. "Why are X people so stupid?"). More borderline is a questions that maybe meant in good faith but seems to have so many problematic assumptions built-in, that it's difficult to even engage with fairly. It might not be a stupid question, but it's been phrased in a way that makes so many wrong assumptions, that answering it becomes an unnecessarily difficult chore.
I saw your question about veganism, and I can imagine some people took it as way of poking vegans. Vegans get a lot of hassle online, and are often asked to justify this or that, so asking "why don't they eat roadkill" (in so many words) could be seen as not coming from a genuine place of curiosity. I'm not saying your question wasn't genuine, but I can imagine that other people thought so.
I do think your question falls into the "too many dumb assumptions". There were responses along the lines of "vegans don't eat meat, so of course they don't eat meat that has died naturally". And you responded with "I meant the philosophy not the diet". If that's true, then it was a "badly phrased" question, not a "stupid" one.
Nostupidquestions is meant to be a place to ask questions that you feel like you should know, or everyone else seems to know. If you ask confusing or misleading questions, it's reasonable for people to respond with "that's not what veganism means" or whatever. But I do 100% think people shouldn't say it's a stupid question (although, having read through the thread I don't see anyone saying that to you...)
It's been a whole for me too, but I think some mods are better applied before a starting the game. Even if you save just after character creation the game has initialised a bunch of things and that might cause problems.
I do think being able to save preset faces would be great. Sometimes when making a character, I make a model I kinda like, and I have to decide if it's worth the risk of trying something different and not being able to remake my original if the new one doesn't work out. Some games (mass effect?) represent each model with a code, which works pretty well. But I don't think skyrim does.
If I saw someone wearing a helmet, with cap strapped on somewhere, I'd understand. It's practical, and it's pretty clear that your planning to wear it when you remove the helmet, you're not trying to make some sort of statement. Go for it! (as long as your cap strap is reliable...)
I only really feel like an adult when I spend time with kids and young people. Even though the students I teach are at university, and thus technically adults... I'm always struck by how often they seem 'immature'.
And to be clear, I don't even really mean that as a criticism. Sure, at times they don't pay attention and forget to do things and seem akward/nervous. But "adults' do all those things too. The difference is the adults have generally accepted these flaws and come up with coping strategies (both good and bad) like avoiding those situations, or blaming other people.
So, what makes me feel like an adult is not that I'm on top of things, or that I'm no longer a mess. It's that I know I'm a mess, and I no longer hope that one day I'll get everything sorted, and tbh, that's fine.
That's on me, there's a few typos in my reply. I was just saying I've never heard it, not that I think I will never hear it ever. And genuinely the only menfolk I've heard use it earnestly were akward teenage boys, and the older lads mocked them and told them they sounded lame.
This is in the UK (and ten years ago), so maybe it's much more common in Australia or the US or something. But from the reaction it generally gets online, I get the feeling it's generally looked down on (outside of humor, or sci-fi).
I don't think people are bothered by "female coworker", which is perfectly normal. It's the reference to a "female-only" community, when the actual com is called WomensStuff and describes itself as "women only" and "a women's community".
I agree that the guy in the post is mildlyinfuriating at best, and much more likely a douche (never hear a woman use male as a noun like that, a very particular shibboleth). But I'm not sure I love. This community becoming half posts picking on specific users. Should we blur the usernames? Otherwise its an easy path to brigading and bullying.
If there's really just one mod, then maybe they should pick a few other people to help manage the community. But if they're not willing to do that, and people are genuinely annoyed about the lack of modding then we should start an alternate community.
It seems like a lot of posts on here are about frustration with modding (to be fair, it is only mildly irritating to me), so maybe there's enough support for a new community. Or is there a way to contact the instance mods and get more mods assigned, if the existing mod team aren't around?
Unless im sleep deprived or intoxicated, pretty instantly. But although I sleep pretty well, I generally wake up regularly through the night to turn over, flip my pillow etc. So, waking isn't usually a shock. Maybe if I got removedn by an alarm I'd be confused, but generally I wake up a few minutes before my alarm.
I think it's very concerning, but not exactly surprising. It makes sense that there ends up being market leaders for digital services, because they can provide economies of scale much more than traditional services. As another commentor pointed out, they're are alternatives, even just for back-up service providers, but most sites don't pay for them.
What was more personally distressing was I realised how much I rely on lemmy when my instance, and backup instance, both went down. I'm not sure where I'd go for immediate news, especially about something niche like "why is lemmy down?". I don't use other social media and I found myself checking r/redditalternatives just to see if there was some info about the shutdown. Obviously, it was useless because reddit...
Given that those videos are just AI scripts voiced by AI, couldn't you just ask perplexity to compare the two products? It would still be a unreliable LLM answer, but at least you're not jumping through hoops to get there.
I think you're right. If someone genuinely likes a product I'm happy to hear a recommendation, or even if they've used it but don't love it, just a description of what they think is good or bad.
But when someone is just reading a prepared ad it's a turn off, and makes me trust the creator and the product less. I get that people need to pay the bills, so I'm willing to ignore it a little. But it makes me pretty suspicious of everything else the person is saying, now that I see how little integrity matters to them.
I don't think I'd feel like I lost a part of me if I my account got banned. But I could imagine feeling pretty angry if it was unfair, and frustration at losing access to save post or conversations with that I still reference.
But I do think an account is a 'face', just like in real life. I talk differently at work than with my friend, I speak differently to my boss and my students, and even different friend groups have different ways of talking or humour they enjoy. In that sense my lemmy account talks about some stuff I wouldn't bring up with certain people, and there's some stuff I wouldnt post on here.
Really depends on the porn. I feel like a lot of porn (if it has any logic or plot to speak of) is simply about sex occurring quickly in situations that it doesn't usually. That can be beause it breaks a taboo (step-incest porn) or just an ordinary non sexual interaction getting horny (workplace, public, dinner, pizza delivery, etc.)
It isn't generally "two people meet on a date and end up going back home and hooking up" because it's just not the novel. I imagine there's some of real life equivalents of both categories, but they're almost be definition exceptional.
Closest I can think of from my own life, is drunkly having sex in a deserted area, not thinking about security cameras. But if it'd been real "porn logic" I would have had sex with the police officers who later took me in for questioning. But no.
The Hissing of Summer Lawns by Joni Mitchell. I like JM well enough, but don't really listen to many other albums of hers. But HoSL just has this unique vibe that keeps bringing me back, especially on those slightly delirious hot days of summer.