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Arcanepotato

@ Arcanepotato @crazypeople.online

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74
Joined
6 mo. ago

Like if your vegan anarchist grandma and vegan anarchist dad were the same person.

I am an engineer (closer to toot toot then clicky clacky) cosplaying as a farmer in unceded aninstanabe territory in eastern ontario.

Pronouns: she/they

Maybe the real vegan theory club were the friends we made along the way ✨

  • Right of way

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  • Yes, that's my point. And cyclists should take the whole lane if that's safest.

    I didn't learn how to drive until I was 30, and I didn't get a car until 36. In addition to public transit, I was a bike commuter ~9 months of the year. I think this gave me a much better appreciation for what my fellow road users face.

    I don't think 1 m is really enough passing space in most conditions and I'll fully switch lanes most of the time. One of us is in a big metal inertia cage and the other is not.

  • It's Thursday 09/25/2025. Hey, What's Going On!

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  • I have the week off work and a house guest and everything is wrong and different and I'm suffering

    So yes, this week also feels off

  • It's Thursday 09/25/2025. Hey, What's Going On!

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  • I'm sorry about your tum but echo your love of bidets

  • Right of way

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  • Oh thank god, cyclists that bike too close to the edge make me nervous AF - I'm always afraid they will meet an obstacle they are not expecting and swerve last minute.

  • Chunking up 🙏

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  • Hell yeah looks promising

  • It's Monday 09/22/2025. Hey, What's Going On!

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  • Sharing because I wonder if this might be helpful for other late diagnosed folks:

    My mom is visiting and I'm suddenly remembering what it's like to be around NTs (or NT's culture/expectations because I don't think she's NT) and it's honestly distressing. Which she of course takes personally.

    When she removed up and joined me on the couch and I used my words to say I wasn't ready for conversation. Then I got up to bring the blue jays their breakfast because they were screaming for it, and that apparently was a signal that I wanted to chat now? So now I'm scared to move because my ability to speak is on its last legs and we're going to go straight to the sobbing soon. Another example is that for the first time in a long time (maybe since she last visited???) I took my glasses off because I was done with seeing for the day. I suddenly understand why I was basically this until I moved out:

    My office is also the guest bedroom so I don't have anywhere to hang out but the living room, being perceived.

    At least I'm getting a lot of notes to share on my next assessment appointment? I was really struggling to come up with answers to the questions last time about my struggles. When you are married to another ND and you love and respect each other you can craft a life that is for the most part most excellent for your specific needs.

    We spend so much time in silence next to each other, literally just vibing. We can communicate a lot without speaking, we don't talk for the sake of talking, we ask the questions we want answers to (sometimes we don't really know what we are asking/what what we want an answer to but we refine the question as we go and try to figure it out together). We do talk for reasons other than exchanging information - we both use each other as sounding boards and process our days out loud with each other, or show each other memes, or point out something interesting going on in the garden etc. But the memes/observations aren't there to elicit a response, or a request for the other person to take on the task of carrying forward a conversation exchange. I wear my headphones, or hang out in my office if he wants to rock out so he can do that comfortably without feeling like he needs to suppress it. I love our life together 🥰

  • It's Sunday 09/21/2025. Hey, What's Going On!

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  • Deleted

    Selective Listening and Neurology

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  • I would say you are winning, yes.

    Eta: maybe her directions also suck

  • Deleted

    Selective Listening and Neurology

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  • Do you have difficulties processing what people say despite having a functional chain of hearing organs?

    Yes, but it presents as me not being able to hear. Especially if there are many noises happening at once. So I just say I have hearing problems because it's not technically a lie?

    I use that to explain why I use subtitles and why I need people to repeat themselves. What's actually going on in my head is my processing is too slow. For example, I will ask someone to repeat themselves and maybe 50% of the time my brain will catch up before they start talking again. And then I get impatient because I don't need them to repeat themselves anymore, but then I'm angry and forget what they are saying. It's distressing, honestly.

    Are you able to follow written instructions

    Yes

    to the shock of neurotypicals who may sort you into a lower ability bucket?

    No, but probably because I was sure it was bad hearing for so long and presented it as such and I have little scripts. I carry a notebook around (which is totally appropriate for my workplace, so it's not weird) and say something like, "I really want to make sure I understand what your asking and don't forget, so let me write that down." and maybe ask them to repeat it and ask clarifying questions through that process. It's usually received as me being very interested in their request.

    I'm in a position of power where I am generally doing people favors, so your milage may vary. Most people who don't suck want you to be successful so waiting a sec for you to write it down is generally okay in my experience.

  • It's Saturday 09/20/2025. Hey, What's Going On!

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  • Oh yeah for sure. The house is supposed to be sealed up well but I guess it's not right now 🥲

  • It's Saturday 09/20/2025. Hey, What's Going On!

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  • What a good looking group of people!

    Yesterday we discovered we have mice in the house which is one of the things that makes me the most uncomfortable and panicked so that's amazing. We've had good luck in getting rid of them with a humane pest removal (exclusion) service in the past, I guess we will call them again. They don't kill or trap them, they just make it so they can leave but not come back.

    Oh, it also got down to 0.1 C yesterday and I'm dreading going out to look at the plants.

  • It's Wednesday 09/17/2025. Hey, What's Going On!

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  • Hell yeah

  • It's Tuesday 09/16/2025. Hey, What's Going On!

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  • I empathize. I'm terrified of dentistry.

  • It's Tuesday 09/16/2025. Hey, What's Going On!

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  • It's Tuesday 09/16/2025. Hey, What's Going On!

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  • Glad it worked out!

  • I think this counts as torture

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  • I think this comment is a really good illustration of what it looks like when a NT person doesn't understand the challenges faced by ND people. I don't mean this as an atrack. I'm going to speak in absolutes because I'm lazy af, but when I say ND please read it as "some ND people". It's a spectrum, after all.

    If you're going to spend 33% of your life around a group of people, it seems like the most rational choice would be to choose a group of people you know something about, understand and enjoy, right?

    There are a lot of challenges ND people face in the work place. The idea of choosing where you work can feel like a strange concept because we need to figure out where we can fit in with minimal harm done to ourselves. If we get lucky and find that, we're not going to change it because we don't "vibe" with the people. We're probably not going to vibe with the people anywhere??? We need to be able to change ourselves and our behavior, learning all the unspoken rules about an individual workplace and hope we "pass" enough to stay employed while not running ourselves into the ground while doing it.

    While I like and appreciate most of my co-workers, I'll never really be able to say I understand them. Sometimes I think I do, and then BAM something happens and I'm totally lost again. Either I've broken some unspoken rule or they have broken what I thought was an unspoken rule or something like that.

    Getting lots of work done in isolation in a cold, hostile environment surrounded by strangers seems to me like a worse choice than getting less work done with fun people you enjoy, with the feeling like you're all in it together and can rely on each other to handle challenges bigger than any single person as a team.

    Working in isolation can help with issues with executive function and processing delays. I'm "successful" and highly regarded in my field but if you say numbers at me my brain shuts down and I panic. I'm an engineer!!! When I've worked in an open concept office I would have to stay and do another "shift" after everyone went home. No, headphones aren't enough. Any distracting, someone doing a small talk as they pass your desk, people seeing you and deciding to message you - all these things took me off task and took me 20+ mins to remember WTF I was doing and get back to it.

    Life's not just about getting the most work done possible before you die, right?

    There are a few things going on here:

    1. From the outside, I can look like someone who values work above other things in life. I don't. I like solving puzzles. When I'm into a puzzle god help you if you interrupt me.
    2. The "rule" about work is that you go there and do work right? Slacking is frowned upon unless it's this narrow band of socializing? There are too many rules about what the appropriate amount of work to do is, it's exhausting. Pair that with all the sensory nightmares that come from working in the vicinity of other people and it's much easier to think of work as a set of tasks that need to be done and then you can go.Thinking of work as tasks that need to get done and doing them is a pretty common ND approach, tbh.
    3. I 100% hide behind my expertise and ability to get shit done to protect me from unemployment for being "weird" and not fitting in. You bet your ass I'm going to make myself indispensable by working a lot.
    4. As much as a ND might want to get along with their coworkers, sometimes they just can't. Sometimes we can't understand each other. There are also a whole new weird set of rules about work friendships that are different from non work friendships and that's a whole minefield to navigate.

  • I think this counts as torture

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  • My lived experience in three memes:

    It's a different type of social dance we have to do that is not part of my normal daily script and that I am not prepared for and now have to agonize over, I don't know anything about myself, a fun fact is never a single sentence how dare you???

  • It's Saturday 09/13/2025. Hey, What's Going On!

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  • The closest giant asian supermarket was not crowded at all today so we got a chance to meander and browse and not feel like we were in everyone's way.

    They were absolutely blasting 80s power ballads so much so that my partner don't even bother with his headphones lol. But being less crowded made so much nicer of an experience, sensory overload wise.

  • It's Wednesday 09/10/2025. Hey, What's Going On!

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  • I bought myself a cute notebook to put my to-do lists in. I'm currently using a 8.5 x 11 notepad on my desk, let's see if this is more or less annoying.