I can't answer because I have it exactly the same as you OP, just maybe to add some points. As you said, I remember seeing my friends having this incredible drive, this incredible pull, like nothing in the world is more important right here right now than to get that girl tonight. Lying, backstabbing, spending money, anything goes. It was to the point they basically changed personalities almost completely. I remember the worst example was that one time one of my best friends tried to ridicule me in front of a girl he met like 30 min ago (and I saw he's immediately interested in her), because me and her were chatting about something and she seemed interested in the topic. I was like "dude wtf? I'm not trying to 'steal her' from you, we're just talking"

But anyway, some 2 cents what helped me with that. So I did 2 things at almost the same time and I'm not sure which one did the trick - I started exercising (running) and stopped masturbating. But my guess is it was the later, after like a month I felt like I could 'smell the colors' - I was constantly horny and my shyness went almost completely away. The pull still wasn't on the level of my friends, but yeah, there was a change in me