I had a good relationship with my dad, but he passed when I was 21. I’ve now been alive longer without a father than with one. He had major faults: racist, homophobic, and started going Baptist when he got cancer. If he had survived it, I think that downfall would have progressed and he’d be a fucking Maggot by now. I don’t think he’d get along well with his pansexual son, bisexual DIL and transgender grandkids. So, and this is not a good feeling, I’m a little appreciative of the fact the relationship ended when it was still good. But I’m haunted by what it would have been like if he survived. Like I said, we had a really good relationship. He taught me all kinds of outdoorsman skills, taught me how to keep family close, and how to honor my word. I don’t know if I could have handled if he survived and continued along that path.

My mom always lived for herself and was abusive. I still flinch when someone touches my face because she hit us so much. I cut ties on my wedding day almost 10 years ago and am much happier and healthier.

They both taught me how not to parent and as long as I keep in mind how their words and actions made me feel, I know how to be a good dad to my kids. I’m not going to say they did me a favor there, but I do rely on that lesson to guide me.