I work in commercial and institutional building energy efficiency. I notice myself paying way more attention to the infrastructure that normally fades into the background. Stuff like “I wonder how big the transformer for this building is?” or “Ooh, that’s a hefty cooling tower, I wonder how much chilled water they use?”
Maybe give Cool People Who Did Cool Stuff a try! It’s not a trans-specific podcast, although the host, Margaret Killjoy, is a trans woman. She covers the broad history of good people who fought back against the bad stuff in the world. For example, this week’s episodes were about lesbian mutual aid during the AIDS crisis, and this episode from a while back is about “Great Trancestors of History”. It’s one of my favorite shows, I highly recommend it :)
If you don’t, they’re pretty cheap (and worth it, IMO), but you can achieve the same thing with some string and a normal tape measure.
Your waist measurement will be roughly the narrowest part of your torso (kind of near your belly button), and your hip measurement will be the widest part of your torso (roughly at the top of your hip bones). Here’s an article that might be helpful!
Is there a size guide where you can see what measurements correspond to which sizes? That’s how I judged the size to pick mine - I went by the closest waist size/measurement, and it fits pretty well. There may be better methods out there though that I’m just not aware of yet
.world and .ml like to beef over their politics (generally liberal vs more leftist/Marxist)
Aside from that, people are generally pretty kind and won’t bash you for having left-of-center politics. If you’re a conservative, though, I’d expect downvotes. There just aren’t very many around on Lemmy. (And I personally think things are better that way.)
And your comment is prescient! Earlier today, in my infinite wisdom, I forgot that my YouTube account is logged into our TV, and my wife saw that I had been watching Abigail Thorn’s coming out video. I hadn’t planned on having this particular conversation with her for a little while longer until I felt like I had my thoughts collected better, but we ended up having a very emotional, but I think ultimately good, conversation about where I am with my gender identity and how I want to express it.
She’s very understandably a little overwhelmed and feels like it’s coming on all of a sudden, but she was also very reassuring that she isn’t going anywhere and will support me. I think there are certainly going to be some things that aren’t easy over the course of my transition, but we’re both committed to each other and staying open and communicative. We may do some couples counseling, and go to some support groups for trans people and their spouses, as things progress.
Point well taken though, I will do my best to stay as open and honest as possible throughout!
Ooh I like that analogy! I’ll keep it in mind as I try to find a name :)
And complete agreement on the importance of getting pierced by a pro! I got two cartilage piercings in my one ear a few years ago, and I had a great experience with the professional piercer, and they warned me off of any place like Claire’s hahah
Coming out to my family is probably the most single difficult thing I've ever done.
This is what I’m most afraid of. I know my wife will support me, even if she might struggle with the changes. And her family are more open-minded - at the very least, I think they would have the decency to not talk shit to my face.
My family, though. My brother that I’m closest with has said some transphobic things to me in the past, and the Catholic Church is not exactly the bastion of trans rights. And they’re all intense Catholics, so I’m very worried about how they’ll react. I hate that I have this knot in my stomach, that I have to worry if my family is going to abandon me because I want to be who I really am
I really like the idea of a conversation followed up by a letter! I feel like that would let me make sure I say everything I want to say, how I want to say it, in a form they can keep going back to to reread as much as they need.
Your good job could go away, and you could find it difficult to find a new one.
I am blessed with a great partner who I know would support me, and we could get by without my income, but I also would prefer to keep my job! I like it and think I’m good at it, and even if it is a more conservative field (utilities), I do live in a purple state that has pretty good LGBTQ anti-discrimination laws.
As a general rule, I would flag that as inappropriate.
Good to know! I’ll follow your advice and talk with my usual stylist and go from there.
And I am fortunate to live in a smallish city that does have an LGBTQ resource center (that I’ve heard is quite good), and there’s a larger city that I know has a good community only about 45 minutes away. The one here actually has a TTRPG night every few weeks, and that’s already one of my hobbies!
I also love gardening, art, and sustainability stuff in general, so maybe there’s a chance I could start a queer community garden or something like that!
Oh, and hey, your lemmy friends are here to help too. <3
Thank you so much 💛 it means a lot to get support from this community, and I really really appreciate it
Thank you for your advice 💛 I am very much still in the boat of trying to figure out exactly what transition means for me.
In the short term, I know that I want to keep doing the “easy things” - growing my hair out (it’s already shoulder length, continuing to shave my body and paint my nails, get my ears pierced. All the stuff that I can do and still reasonably pass as cis.
Shaving my face is going to a little trickier - I haven’t been clean shaven in 10 years and my wife has never known me without a beard. So that will be a big change.
I want to start HRT, but that’s a little tricky too, since my wife and I want to have kids. That’s going to have to be a conversation, about whether we do cryo and IUI, or adopt, or if there’s an off chance that HRT doesn’t make me sterile.
As far as surgeries, I feel like that’s a little hard to say right now, without knowing where I’ll be with my transition after socially transitioning and a few years of HRT. I’m not opposed to FFS, top surgery, and I don’t really have dysphoria about my genitals right now, although I know that can change over time.
I feel like it’s hard to be able to say “I want to do X, Y, and Z, and then I’ll be done transitioning.” Right now, it feels a lot more like “I know the direction I want to keep moving in, but I don’t know what the ‘end point’ is”, if that makes sense.
I work in commercial and institutional building energy efficiency. I notice myself paying way more attention to the infrastructure that normally fades into the background. Stuff like “I wonder how big the transformer for this building is?” or “Ooh, that’s a hefty cooling tower, I wonder how much chilled water they use?”