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Odigo2020

@ odigo2020 @lemmy.zip

Posts
10
Comments
28
Joined
2 yr. ago

  • Sneezing with cottage cheese in your mouth

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  • Tangentially related, press your tongue as flat as possible against the roof of you mouth to speed up recovery from brain freeze.

  • Removed

    What does Hannibal Lecter yell when jumping into a pool at a party?

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  • It's more used for darker/dirtier dad jokes.

  • Lemmings of AskLemmy, what are your best dumb jokes?

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  • I used to like Steven Wright.

    I still do, but I used to, too.

  • Lemmings of AskLemmy, what are your best dumb jokes?

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  • Usually, the most effective way is to say, "Wanna hear a knock knock joke?"

    "Sure!"

    "Okay, you start."

    Has about a 90% success rate.

  • Dad Jokes @lemmy.world
    Odigo2020 @lemmy.zip

    One time, on a first date...

  • Dad Jokes @lemmy.world
    Odigo2020 @lemmy.zip

    I like my beverages to be up with the times.

  • Does anyone else feel like fireworks are a complete waste of money and a ridiculous amount of unnecessary Pollution?

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  • If only it were once a year. This year, people started on the 28th of fucking June, and didn't stop until the goddamn 6th.

    If it actually was contained to the 4th, I would be fine with it, but getting woken up by an explosion every night at 1:30am for a week straight, it gets real old, real fast.

  • Now you're loving with portals

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  • Perhaps they're attached to the metaphorical walls the woman in blue has put up in the relationship, thus contributing to the man's wandering eye?

  • Does anyone else feel like fireworks are a complete waste of money and a ridiculous amount of unnecessary Pollution?

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  • If a loud concert or horror movie popped up next door and rattled the houses of an entire neighborhood from 10pm to 2am, I'm pretty sure law enforcement would do something about it.

  • Dad Jokes @lemmy.world
    Odigo2020 @lemmy.zip

    A 68 year old finally left his job of 40 years, but worried he'd soon grow bored, he began a small business retreading wheels with menthol-infused rubber.

  • Dad Jokes @lemmy.world
    Odigo2020 @lemmy.zip

    Being a lawyer is hard.

  • Reminder: The DMV uses photos for facial recognition

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  • Or lobby so their private planes are untrackable.

  • This Photo on Amazon for Q-tips

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  • I think watching a couple audiologist videos where they dig out years of compacted q-tip cotton pressed against the eardrum might change their opinion.

  • Dad Jokes @lemmy.world
    Odigo2020 @lemmy.zip

    What is a biscuit's favorite kind of music?

  • Children's messages in a bottle wash up on Scottish beach 40 years later

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  • 40 years, the things poor Wilson would have seen...

  • With the ubiquity of inflation and shrinkflation, why aren't there more boycotts? When will people say enough is enough?

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  • What, haven't you all spent three months to grow one head of lettuce? Just skip breakfast for breakfast and eat cereal for dinner!

  • Is all wrestling , boxing matches really fake ?

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  • Which often led to visible confusion, as people could hear John Cena, but not see him.

  • PlayStation's future is on PC, mobile and cloud but not subscriptions says Sony

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  • Yup, I let mine lapse, too, until a 30% discount came around Christmas. $50 bucks was worth it to me to continue to be able to access my decade-plus of giveaway games, as well as be able to pick up new monthly ones. But if they go the way of Games with Gold and stop offering those freebies, I think I'll probably be done with PS+ until I get a PS5, if that ever happens.

  • Has there ever been an attempt to do a modern "novelisation" of Shakespeare's plays?

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  • Naw, musta been Warm Bodies.

  • ["oh you! Kotaku" article] User Needed One More Steam Point To Hit 69,000 And Valve Delivered

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  • No one's gonna say it?

    All right, fine.

    Nice.

  • Ray Romano Says Reviving ‘Everybody Loves Raymond’ Is ‘Out of the Question’: Reboots Are ‘Never as Good’

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  • I think Will and Grace was the only reboot that was quality. I've heard good things about the Kids in the Hall reboot, but I don't think that really counts since it's sketch comedy.

  • Turtle spider

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  • What is the least amusing joke you're aware of?

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  • That's actually pretty good, subversion of expectations with an absurdist kicker.

  • Deleted

    Anyone know if there is a community or where to find people to watch films/tv shows jointly with?

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  • Probably was Big Screen. And you can indeed throw popcorn, now.