JavaScript. Stay mad but it's fun to write, easy to get into, easy to do both visual (e.g. web) and CLI-style code, and it's awarded me a cushy life, house, and car.
If you are not comfortable working with electricity, you shouldn't be working with electricity. Following, a multimeter and an outlet polarity tester are not really things normal people should have.
I thought I was reading Trump's indictment for a sec.