The odds are against you, for sure. It can happen, so it’s not impossible. But the odds are against you.
To increase those odds as much as possible, take one bit of advice over all others - married isn’t something you are, marriage is something you do. You’re not saying “I’m going to be with you for our entire lives” to your fiancee, you’re saying “I am going to spend my entire life working hard to make sure that we don’t grow apart or grow complacent or take each other for granted, and I fully trust that you’re promising the same thing”.
The only way for a long-term relationship to work is if both people dedicate effort to making it work. You’re looking at a life full of compromises. You’re looking at a life of times when one or the other of you is going to get sick, or will fall apart mentally, or will get addicted to drugs, or…any number of other things which can tear people apart. Are you really, fully prepared to deal with those things?
You say you want a family. What if you’re infertile? What if she needs an emergeny hysterectome? What if you find out that you have the genes for Huntington’s and you’re probably going to condemn any children you have to a slow, painful, undignified death? Will you adopt? Have you thought about it? Have you discussed it? Are you 100% sure this is the person who you want to go through those things with? Are you sure you’re the person they would want to go through those things with? Or are you just kind of thinking it’ll probably work out somehow?
Marriage is hard. It’s work. It’s not a thing you do on a day, it’s a thing you do every single day until one of you is dead.
A lot of older people are dismissive of young love. I’m not one of those people. I remember being your age and in love. I remember how deep and all-consuming it is. You will probably never love anybody as deeply again, not with the same burning passion. Not in the same way.
But love and marriage are two very different things. And I think it’s that difference that older people mean when they say things like “you don’t know what love is”. You do. Perhaps in a way they’ve forgotten. But what they mean is the mundane days. The big moments. The effort and work it takes to truly build an “us”. That’s what you don’t yet have enough experience to fully appreciate.
I wish you well. But before you get married to someone, you should try to have an appreciation of what it is that you’ll really be promising.
The advice given above to live together for a year first is good advice. That won’t give you an idea about everything, but it can give you more insight to the little things which can be more important than you think. You might think it’s cute that time she used your toothbrush without asking, or that she leaves her knickers strewn around the house. You might not feel that way in a year when she keeps doing it day after day. And you’d be surprised how significant those little things can become over time. How much are you prepared to work at it? How much is she?
Just try to be sure, going in, that you really have thought this through (because it sounds like you haven’t). And communicate. The only way you’ve got even a slight chance is if both of you communicate openly and honestly and vulnerably with each other - and not just about the big stuff.
Webp is a smaller file size than jpeg for the same image quality in almost all circumstances - so it’s more efficient and quicker to load. It also supports lossless compression, transparency, and animation, none of which jpeg do. And the jpeg gets noticable visual artefacts at a much higher quality than webp does.
People didn’t adopt it to annoy you. It’s started to replace jpeg for the same reason jpeg started to replace bmp - it’s a better, more efficient format.
Similar to the Strangelove example - although not about history - know what medical professionals consistently say is the TV show which not only had the most accurate medicine, but also best depicts the social paradigm of working in the medical sector? Scrubs.
Oh, I’ve got a carrots one, too. Rabbits don’t have a particular fondness for carrots. We just think they do because of Bugs Bunny. But Bugs eats carrots to imitate a Clark Gable scene in It Happened One Night, with the carrot substituting for a cigar. Over time the connection got lost and it just sort of became “rabbits = carrots”.
They don’t mind them, but they have no particular preference for them.
That’s not the only Bugs Bunny-related thing, either. “Nimrod” has come to mean “idiot” because of its use by Bugs. But that’s not the intended meaning in the cartoons. He specifically says it to Elmer Fudd. Nimrod is a Biblical figure, known for being a great hunter. He’s being sarcastic. But again the reference got lost and people just thought it meant “idiot”.
There was research which showed that when women make up a third of a group, both men and women tend to think the numbers are even. More than a third = more women than men.
Not just presence either. If women in group settings collectively speak for more than 30% of the time, both men and women feel like women are dominating the conversation.
I’ve thought before that if i were to be dropped back maybe 200 years ago i could maybe do okay for myself by passing off existing stories as mine. You’d have to change some details here and there, but you could absolutely write the terminator as a book and pretend it was your idea, for example. And people would never have read anything like it.
I don’t think you’d become rich and famous, because success is as much about time and place as it is ideas and talent. But I’m sure you’d be able to get them published and thus sell well enough to pay your bills on ideas alone.
Not true for something like Tolkien. Those need to be his words for the books to work. But Alien? Psycho? The thing? The day the Earth stood still? Forbidden planet? Arrival? You could sell those on ideas alone.
Yup. I wouldn’t be very good at it, but it’s indoor work with no heavy lifting or cardio, and if it’s my job until I’m 65 that implies that it’ll pay the bills so how good I actually am doesn’t really matter very much
I mean, you clearly didn’t read the primary data in this case, because if you had you wouldn’t have believed it to support the idea that the people surveyed wanted to return to the soviet era.
Again, I can only suggest reading the primary data, rather than relying on openly biased reporting. One of the key democratic principles which is so highly valued is “honest multiparty elections”.
Have you tried reading the primary sources for that article? It implies that the people who think their country is worse off since the fall of the USSR want a return to the USSR. However, the questions that the article doesn’t discuss has a majority of people saying that they value the institutions of democracy very highly, which doesn’t suggest that that’s the case.
It normally goes in waves. Younger generations don’t want to do what their parents do. Parents drink? Kids will drink less or not drink at all. But when the next generation comes round, the kids are likely to drink because their parents don’t.
The mainstreaming of anti-trans rhetoric and representation.
We’re far from perfect when it comes to representation & discourse now when it comes to women, gay people, and people who aren’t white, but look back 30-50 years and you can see how far we’ve come.
As an example, in Kindergarten Cop there’s a scene where a worried mother comes to see Arnie. She found some dolls in her boys room and she’s worried he’s going to end up like his gay father. Arnie laughs and reassures her that it’s okay. He uses the dolls to get close to girls so that he can look up their skirts. She’s relieved. Arnie says he’ll “keep an eye on him, just in case”.
Imagine that scene in a modern kids film. Unthinkable, right?
I think we’re kind of at that stage WRT trans people ATM. Not so much in fiction, but in public debate. I think ina few decades the slurs used against trans people by prominent figures, and the indulging of the idea that whether trans people have a right to exist is even a debate that needs to be had will be seen in the same way a modern audience would view that Kindergarten Cop scene.
They’ve even started adding NFC to behind the scenes footage to make it seem as if something that was CGI actually wasn’t. Someone linked the corridor crew playlist above. They talk about this when they cover Barbie.
So the first person who acquired wealth and/or power got no pleasure from it, because that’s not in their nature, but nonetheless kept it and passed it down to their children, who also derived no pleasure from it but also kept it and passed it down, until it had become ingrained tradition, and then people started to acquire the desire for the wealth and power they had had for generations?
The odds are against you, for sure. It can happen, so it’s not impossible. But the odds are against you.
To increase those odds as much as possible, take one bit of advice over all others - married isn’t something you are, marriage is something you do. You’re not saying “I’m going to be with you for our entire lives” to your fiancee, you’re saying “I am going to spend my entire life working hard to make sure that we don’t grow apart or grow complacent or take each other for granted, and I fully trust that you’re promising the same thing”.
The only way for a long-term relationship to work is if both people dedicate effort to making it work. You’re looking at a life full of compromises. You’re looking at a life of times when one or the other of you is going to get sick, or will fall apart mentally, or will get addicted to drugs, or…any number of other things which can tear people apart. Are you really, fully prepared to deal with those things?
You say you want a family. What if you’re infertile? What if she needs an emergeny hysterectome? What if you find out that you have the genes for Huntington’s and you’re probably going to condemn any children you have to a slow, painful, undignified death? Will you adopt? Have you thought about it? Have you discussed it? Are you 100% sure this is the person who you want to go through those things with? Are you sure you’re the person they would want to go through those things with? Or are you just kind of thinking it’ll probably work out somehow?
Marriage is hard. It’s work. It’s not a thing you do on a day, it’s a thing you do every single day until one of you is dead.
A lot of older people are dismissive of young love. I’m not one of those people. I remember being your age and in love. I remember how deep and all-consuming it is. You will probably never love anybody as deeply again, not with the same burning passion. Not in the same way.
But love and marriage are two very different things. And I think it’s that difference that older people mean when they say things like “you don’t know what love is”. You do. Perhaps in a way they’ve forgotten. But what they mean is the mundane days. The big moments. The effort and work it takes to truly build an “us”. That’s what you don’t yet have enough experience to fully appreciate.
I wish you well. But before you get married to someone, you should try to have an appreciation of what it is that you’ll really be promising.
The advice given above to live together for a year first is good advice. That won’t give you an idea about everything, but it can give you more insight to the little things which can be more important than you think. You might think it’s cute that time she used your toothbrush without asking, or that she leaves her knickers strewn around the house. You might not feel that way in a year when she keeps doing it day after day. And you’d be surprised how significant those little things can become over time. How much are you prepared to work at it? How much is she?
Just try to be sure, going in, that you really have thought this through (because it sounds like you haven’t). And communicate. The only way you’ve got even a slight chance is if both of you communicate openly and honestly and vulnerably with each other - and not just about the big stuff.