yep.
IME people who embrace personal responsibility generally don't whine/complain that much. those who do so pathologically... absolutely refuse to take responsibility for themselves and angry/frustrated that other people won't do it for them.
and the pathological people will hate anyone who calls them out. they will seek people who tell them it isn't their fault and how they are perfect as they are.
Yeah. That tracks. Every community I was involved with in reddit... and IRL, kind of works this way too.
It starts with open minded plain talking enthusiastic folks, then the 'concerned' people start invading it and want to sanitize it so that it's 'inviting' to non-enthusiasts and they start policing everyone the way they police themselves. And their primary concern is not the idea or hobby, but it's presentation being as 'acceptable' to as broad a spectrum of people as possible... which ultimately makes it bland and boring to the OG people. and the OG people are 'offensive' to the new people who are only there for the 'image' of the thing. Also the diversity of perspectives disappears, as only one perspective is allowed as the 'correct' one.
I generally prefer an environment full of outspoken people who actively disagree. Average people find such an environment hostile and they want to build a loyalty based consensus and exclude those who are disagree or are non-believers. I like the former because I learn things. I hate the latter because I learn nothing and it devolves into a circle jerk of people who want 'safety'.
Because most people's problems are ultimate their own responsibility. Most of us can't change the circumstances around us, but we can change ourselves.
This is assuming the person wants to fix the issue. Many people... don't. Their misery is their identity. Personally I've had plenty of relationships in my life with people like that. I ended up leaving them, and they thought I was a selfish asshole for not fixing their issues for them, because they believed it was my job to 'adult' for them. And frankly, some people are happy to have relationships like that, where the other person is their 'child' they take care of.
Also it's very different if say you have a car accident. A random occurrence... than if you keep getting into car accidents. That's a pattern. I've had one car accident. But people who have many accidents... it's because they are bad drivers. I once dated a woman who has 6 car accidents in 5 years. She was a terrifyingly bad driver, but in her mind it was everyone else who was the bad drivers because they were 'in her way'. and when i drove she would scream at me for being 'a pussy' because I drove safely.
Where I live people don't act normal in public anymore. They b asically make internet comments at each other IRL and don't really interact, at least not in the traditional way I do. I find most people find a legit conversation is 'scary and weird'. they mostly just want ot make random commentary at you, rather than talk to you.
Yes, I have noticed this as well. People's expectations are sky high an people are generally less grounded than they used to be. I have noticed this especially in the dating context. 10 year ago my dates were pretty chill, even if things didn't work out we could still have a good time. Now I frequently encounter people who are outright hostile to me because I I am not 'x enough' in some arbitrary category in their head, therefore i am a subhuman scum who is 'wasting' their time. I've been actively insulted and harassed on first dates by such people. It's truly bizarre.
I agree that most people have commodified other people and it's gross and alienating. I'm not a wish-fulfillment machine.
you're assuming you can find people that make you feel good. a lot of us can't. especially if we live in a place where our values/beliefs don't align with the dominant ones.
because i can.
just like i cam make commentary about Jeep products even though I will never buy one.
strawmen exist in the real world yes. it drives most people's argumentation, yes.
saying i have making a strawman arguement doesn't make the people who vote and talk this way go away. hypocritical people who say one thing, and then vote for the exact opposite policies in their communities, are very common. it's called grandstanding.
the gift limit is 19K. above that gifts are taxed progressively.
maybe inheritance limit should be like 100x that? so if you inherent 1.9 million you get taxed or maybe its like 190K but the tax at that value is like 1%
true, but IMO the less wealthy friends socialize way more than the wealthy ones. but they seem to value their money less as in they aren't agonizing about prices. i feel like when i go out i just spend less, one drink instead of three, for example. no apps, only entrees, etc.
yeah i kind of agree. even fun stuff now gets politicized. like i love to read lots of kinds of books. but now people get 'offended' at me that i read the 'wrong' kinds of books that they don't like and they feel are 'wrong'. i don't get it man. i don't pick what to read based on it being 'right', i read the book then decide if i enjoyed it after i read it.
similar to movies. i see so many people comment negative about a movie now because it doesn't 100% agree with their political views. on the lemmy the other day i saw a fantasy show get blasted for being 'too gender essentialist'. like... it's a fantasy story dude. i'm sorry the dragons aren't lgbt+ enough for you? it's so weird to see people politicize every thing. also if you watch older stuff. like mid century movies/books... that same argument comes up that it isn't 'progressive' enough. well progressive didn't really exist back then like it does today, it's absurd to expect a movie from 1955 to cater to your politics in 2025 otherwise it's 'bad'.
hell i own a dog and a cat and people want to turn that into an argument about politics/culture. my cat and my dog don't care about politics. they care about treats, walks, and attention. but people want me to have the 'right' kind of dog/cat, and feed them the 'right' food, and train them the 'right' way. it's insane and i generally do not want to interact with people who think the breed of animal you own is some big deal or that it's animal abuse unless you are feeding them raw food diet.
who defines that evil? because i'm sure your life as it currently is is evil to many folks. no doubt aspects of your life are causing suffering for others.
it's not about you seeing yourself as evil man. nobody sees themselves as evil.
the irony being if you tell the people who whine that their house they bought has to go down in value to improve society, they lose their shit at you.
you can't get rich from capitalism and then demand it be less capitalistic and then demand your asset/wealth keep going up. that's now how reality works.
just like many businesses in my city whine about not getting enough business, but also are against more people living here or more growth/densitiy.... which would increase their business.
optimism and nihilism aren't oppositional.
nihilism doesn't exist. there is no 'nothing'. hence why it collapses into solipsim, which is a projecting egotism that nothing exists other than the self.
people's lifespans are short. hence short term matters more than long term.
also fighting and competition bring meaning to life. long term cooperation, not so much.
yeah well if you put zero effort in, why should i give you any effort?
taking the LCD approach means you are NPC. you dont' want to put effort into your interactions so be it. I do.
my baristas and such thank me for being so kind and treating them like people instead of NPCs. it's nice. try it sometime.
Not everyone is an NPC. but the difference is the effort they make. people who make an effort ot treat me like a person and show they are a person aren't NPCs. if you are unwilling to do that on principal, because you think others are not deserving of yourself, well yeah, of course you are NPC.
and yes, many people i meet FREAK OUT because I put effort into conversations. they regard me as 'too intense' because i actually ask them questions and ask them to think. I've had so many girlfriends break up with me because 'it is too much work to be around you, i don't want to think about things I just want to not think or make any effort."
some people actively embrace being NPCs, which is fine. their life goal is to be lifeless, boring, and safe as possible. to minimize thought and individuality and oftentimes attack anyone who demonstrates it. but I am not interested in socializing with them.
do you think it's justified for someone to shoot you if you disagree with them then?
what i find ironic is the 'capitalism sucks' crowd are almost always the ones who are benefiting from it. they just aren't benefiting as much as they think.
like all the tech workers with $500K in companyn stock and 150K salaries are the one sin my city who rant on about how capitailsm is bad and socialism/anarchy is good. or the trust fund babies. and they love to go on and on about how they should be making more and how unfair their life is, despite owning property, going on luxury vacations, and otherwise living very well.
i can't really take such people seriously. most low wage workers i meet don't have time to agonize about economic systems and which one is most ideal. they are more worried about keeping their job and how to deal with rent going up. they are more interested in going on about sports.
i mean, that entirely depends on the particulars of the problem.