dark matter is a stand in, not a known type of particle. astronomers realized, that in galaxies there had to be way more mass than is visible due to the movement of stars within. but since it couldn't be detected in any other way than through its gravitational influence, it was called dark matter.
this person has given the best answer so far. there is no thing we could identify as dark matter. the concept of it is more like a roadmap, a question to be answered.
it doesn't. light hitting e.g. a helium atom is an electromagnetical interaction. if dark matter does only interact gravitationally, it wont get hit by light.
in a way it's consoling to hear experiences like that. in my personal life there are almost only people who are very very certain about who they are. i just know who i'm not. that's a weird fact to back decisions with.
that's a weird place to be in. generally i'd say don't rush things you are uncertain about. buuut i know that feeling of being certain about being trans, but being a bit worried because i can't feel it clearly and all the time. i go through, because everytime i ask myself, whether i wanted to further age under T, the answer is always no. this fear sometimes goes to sleep i guess, when i'm okay, busy or cozy but it never goes away.
this is a kind of abstract instant dysphoria, i can check my feelings with. luckily without getting to depressed, because in that scenario, there's a solution.
it surely is not trivial. but if your boss isn't super whack he should know that. (he knows, you haven't played it? the others are also noobs?)
but from my expierience, passing a few easy balls is easy enough to learn in a short while. not as a competetive game but as an activity. — i played with friends sometimes, as a kid. they were playing in a team, i started everytime almost from scratch.
a year ago i found out i am trans. i turned 35 in the meantime. i felt myself for the first time. this connection is now largely buried ind everday shit again, but i never felt so directly what i wanted. if you think you are old now (which is debateble, but i know the brain worms), what would you say in 1, 5, 10 years? use your time to be yourself. explore yourself now. find out what you need and want now rather than next year. :)
there will be troubles big and small. but it get's better.
but yeah ... one of the most embarassing thought i ever had was, "i wanna be a goth". at a point at which i was already pretty much integrated in my local community of sorrows. i wanted to match my cool new friends. for the wrong reason.
i am embarassed of this bc at the time i thought it would be important to belong to group and be good at that. i was a little in love with the clichees.
do what you genuinly like and find people who you can share with. that's all there is about subcultures. the rest follows. people who hang out a lot tend to converge in style and habit.
usually subcultures form around music, games, movies ... sounds like you found yours already? the festivals you go to certainly attract people you can connect with, no?
it felt like, this could've been written by me. besides the clubs.
i started not conforming to my villages flavor of masculinty waaaay back so it's been quite easy push more and more fem stuff over the years ... no skirts and stuff but i do like my representation in the village atm. now that i consider myself trans i too feel the icks of every "he".
recently a friend's kid asked their mom if i was a boy or a girl. (so, my look works. yay) it felt brutal to not take the opportunity to explain myself, but there were too many other people around, i didnt trust.
i am worried that moments like that might add up at some point. i am hurting myself and i shouldn't be ...
UPDATE: seems like i finaly found a therapist. at last. still i think there is a lot of sillyness. but that person seems very helpful. of course i am very much a fan of having a therapist during the next time. its just like priorities are tops-turvy.
lol. i'll bring a rusty pair of scissors to my next appointment? "wook, i'm not a cwewew endocwinowogiss wike you, but i got an idea how to weduce testostewwwone!"
dark matter is a stand in, not a known type of particle. astronomers realized, that in galaxies there had to be way more mass than is visible due to the movement of stars within. but since it couldn't be detected in any other way than through its gravitational influence, it was called dark matter.
this person has given the best answer so far. there is no thing we could identify as dark matter. the concept of it is more like a roadmap, a question to be answered.