The nuance I feel you might be overlooking is your so-called visual aid is just someone else's hot bod (as much as it is mostly artificial) and it might signal to your partner that you don't find her physique attractive enough, whereas the use of sex toys or physical aids as you put it would be your partner's way of signaling that her pleasure is not exclusively centered on your penis or its size. Even in phallic shaped toys designed for penetration, there's always something else reputable manufacturers include, be it vibration, texture, shape, simultaneous clitoral stimulation, suction, etc. And none of these are meant to substitute your own physique and the intimacy you bring to the table (or the bed, or the couch, or the shower hehe).
I think the poster below makes a good point that toys designed for men such as fleshlights would be a more apt comparison. And the reverse for the example you provide would be something akin to needing the visual aid of Johnny Sins to get off. If we were to talk about getting off during your little lovemaking session by the chemistry and the fantasy on screen in porn - and both parties were ok with and equally excited by it -, then I'd also find no issue with that (albeit, I do think there are healthier ways to go about).
When it comes to sex, it all eventually comes down to communication and respect. And if your boundaries to feeling comfortable draw a line against using sex toys, then that's you and your partner needs to respect your feelings as well. I just feel like it's a shame if people are missing out, because their own insecurities equate a dildo or a vibrator (or whatever) to a substitute for your penis, your body, and your active role during sexy times, because they definitely are not.
I've always loved music (especially rock n roll) and engaged with it on physical media. Grew up riding the back seat of my dad's car while he was blasting rock classics, and we had a basic hi-fi system that we'd play cassettes and CDs with, that my grandpa left us when he died.
I remember the first album I chose to play by myself, which was my older brother's Offspring's Ixnay On the Hombre (I was a kid and kids loved it) and the first album I bought with my allowance was Rage Against The Machine's Battle of LA, when I was a pre-teen.
Music was always a huge part of my life, for me and my brother, and I guess when the world was falling to pieces around our family life, those were the two things we could turn to, at the time.
When mp3 files became widespread in my teen years, we jumped on that bandwagon on it was a huge drive to discover even more music through Kazaa and the likes and, around that time, I started to fall in love with prog rock, and sites like progarchives had an embedded player that let you listen to some of the more well known tracks, which made me find a ton of bands, that would honestly be too obscure for anyone to know. I started going to live shows more, especially from some of those lesser known bands, because tickets were cheaper. Nowadays, everyone knows who Porcupine Tree are/were, so tickets are pricier, most likely.
When I got to college, we were on a family Summer vacation on a beach town and me and my brother stumbled upon a quaint little music store, that had some bootleg live albums from more of these geeky bands, and in an unassuming shelf in the back, they had some used LPs. They were 50cent to 1€ a piece, so we thought 'why not?' and bought them for the novelty of the vintage media. One of them was an early French press from ELP's first album, and the other was rock n roll Mecca for us and our dad: Van Halen's debut album. When we got back home, we set up the turn table from grandpa's hi-fi system, which had always been disconnected up to then, and our jaw dropped when we played Van Halen. We couldn't believe how much better it sounded than a digitally remastered CD version he owned, it was like experiencing the album for the first time, the way it was meant for it to sound, much more open with a wide soundstage and that analogue organic sound. I remember ELP blew MY socks off, because it was also my first time listening to that album itself and it sounded amazing both musically and sonically (if that makes any sense).
This kickstarted a whole new collector's road for us and we started to discover music again by the way certain albums sounded on certain masters. Around this time, vinyl was also starting to make a comeback in mainstream stores, but at this point we thought the 1st pressings were the one true way to listen to those 70s records, and on one of our runs around music stores, we come across our white whale, shaped in Black Sabbath. An early Vertigo (label company from around the time) press of Vol.4. But it was pricey. Way too pricey for our limited college survival funds (probably around 50€).
We'd always stop by the store to see if it was still there and if it was discounted if it was, but alas, early Sabbath pressings never go down in price. So come Christmas time, I decide to go with a grand gesture and buy my brother the fabled Vol.4 on display, but someone had already taken it. And after all this time scoping it too. So I guess the next best thing is to find another version of it and I get a more recent press from around the 00's. Got back home to wrap it before anyone gets in the house, but that doesn't go well either, because of all people, my brother comes home with a friend and catches me wrapping his present, so there goes the surprise. I show what I got him and he and his buddy start laughing hard. "Hey man, I know it's a repress, but goddamn, it's probably not that bad to laugh about, they were out of the Vertigo press". His buddy chimes in: "No, dude, we're not laughing at that." So my brother goes to the other room and gets out that very same Vol.4 on display that we were stalking for weeks. It was HIS Christmas gift to ME.
Fast forward to present day, we're both older, have pretty upgraded audio gear considering how we started, a bigger collection of media, branched off to some different musical styles, but last night my brother was showing off an audiophile remaster (the latest Mo-Fi) of ELP's first, and my newborn niece is falling asleep in his arms, while the piano is seemingly raining down on Take a Pebble. He looks up from his daughter to ask "Hey, do you remember that summer vacation by the beach town?" and we both smile.
Music hits different throughout the years, the formats, the styles, the gear, etc., and sometimes I'm sad I just don't have as much time to sit down and listen to those records. But it's always been there, weathering me through the ages like a brother.